Big fails suck. Here's how to bounce back

Big fails in business proper suck.

The emotional impact hits harder than losing money.

During that time, you're already on a knife's edge with your own confidence.

So when it falls in a heap, the emotional impact is massive. 

You're super hard on yourself. 

You question everything

You disconnect

When it happened to me, I even started to question if I was the right person to run my own business.

You become hyper-tuned into the negative stuff. 

A few off-handed comments from others and a couple of rumours start to make you feel flatter than a coin on a tram track. 

Obviously, I’m using one of the worst experiences to make my point.

But the reality is, the same behaviour exists in small fails where you privately beat yourself up too. 

And when you stack those overtime it can eventually lead to the same point.

It's damn near impossible to come back from. 

All the advice you read online just says 'Don't quit'... 

It’s not helpful.

Yes, not quitting is true.

But how do you bring yourself back from the edge and start to love your business (or your role in it) again?

That’s what I wanted to cover today.

Let’s dive in. 

The Game Of Iteration

Most of my epic fails happened during a time when I was trying something for the first time. 

And most of my wins came when I built on something that was there before. 

Humans are problem solvers.

We’re built to look at something that exists and find ways to improve it. 

That’s why it's so damn hard to go from zero to freaking excellent in one step. 

It normally takes failing a bunch of times.

Except, in business, we’re apparently not allowed to fail?!

What bullshit…

So first, accept you’re going to fail heaps. 

You have to so you get the opportunity to iterate and get to the good bits.

Finding The Lessons.

To find a lesson, you need to own the problem. 

You can’t share parts of it with anyone!

That means, you can’t blame a single person for the situation. 

It’s all you,

Because giving just 1% blame to someone else it’s like giving them all the power and you’ll learn nothing.

Ask yourself what role YOU played in all of it.

What could YOU have done better?

What did YOU miss?

When I first did this after I lost $600k in a restaurant, I became aware of the role ego was playing in my decision-making without me knowing. 

The process led me all the way back to blindly backing myself to do the project in the first place, getting into a partnership for the wrong reasons, and overspending on the build to fulfil an image. 

So stupid!

I’ve now build in checks and balances around decision making. 

Those lessons equalled the value of the money lost that’s for sure. 

Don't Let The Bad Days Win. 

Easier said than done, but remember that YOU control the script. 

It’s a choice to be optimistic and find the lessons. 

Or you can be a miserable mofo and blame others. 

It’s so tempting to point fingers when things go south, but where’s the power in that? 

That makes you a victim.

Instead, every time you take responsibility for your own mess, you’re saying, “I’ve got this.” 

And that’s where you start to see that dark cloud disappear. 

Soon, those bad days become less frequent. 

Then eventually the more resilience you build, the more those shit times become the juice you need to learn and keep growing. 

(Dare I say it, you even start to love the shit bits)

But there’s two more things that I do differently now after my epic fails,

1. I make time for regular reflection

Literally, put it in your calendar as a recurring meeting with yourself. 

I walk up a hill or sit by the lake and dedicate myself to pulling apart failures so I can find the lessons. 

What decisions did I make that led to…

What role was ego playing in that for me?

What would someone more experienced that me have done?

It’s helped figure out how to implement new processes and iterate on my failures. 

 2. Keep a Little Gas in the Tank

Having the bandwidth to handle the curveballs in business is essential.

But rewind a few years and I was stretched too thin.

I wasn’t prepared to handle the fails or hard questions.

I was all stress and no clarity just trying to out work the world.

Whether it’s mental breaks, a quick workout, or some quality downtime, keeping your tank topped up and ready for whatever comes next is critical.

You never think you have time for it and therefore don’t make it a priority. 

Partly because you can’t see the benefit today until it’s too late.

I started scheduling breaks throughout my week and exercising regularly.

Surprise surprise, they’ve probably helped me more than any other thing I’ve tried because I’m mentally ready to handle whatever comes.

So this is a nudge to freaken look after yourself!

Eat well. Get your sleep under control and make time for movement and reflection.

This game of business is bigger than you. 

Your family, your team and your community are relying on you to win.

I hope this nudge helps.