Don't fall for this online.

Let me be real with you. 

After about 800 days of posting online, something has never been more clear to me. 

How easy it is to paint a rosy picture of life so people think you’re doing well. 

I mean, the entire social media system is geared towards it. 

• Fake smiles
• Perfect images
• Selfies at inspirational destinations
• Curated lighting to show off your best side.

What a load of shit really.

And the business world is no different. 

Everyone’s always posting the good things. 

The wins. The gains. The growth. The perfect team.

I don't blame them (I've done it) because that’s what the market wants, likes and rewards you for. 

When you post something negative or tell people that you’re struggling, there’s just silence. 

Or worse, people tune out because they think you suck…

To demonstrate, I posted about this on LinkedIn last week and lost 3 followers immediately. Hilarious!

Love it or hate it, posting online is all a big game designed to make you look good and everyone else want what you have, 

But today I wanted to be real with you.

Life isn’t that way for them, you, and it isn’t for me. 

I get lots of emails saying congratulations on the success of Three Mills.

Part of me is proud and secretly loves it.

But a bigger part of me cringes and feels like a fraud.

Because I know that from the outside things always look better than they are.

Lift up the hood and it’s often a different story.

For example:

In the last six months or so I’ve:

• Reached burnout trying to do too many different things
• Had a new van stolen and the insurance company refuse to cover it
• Watched the economy slow and suck the margins out of our business
• Have to let really good people go and not be liked by the people who stayed
• Lost months worth of stock from our freezer that we’d already made
• Second guessed myself and my ability to run a good business (many times)
• Then held all that in my mind and failed at being present at home when my son deserved my attention

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 

Even though everyone thinks you have it easy, you and I both know it's not like you wake up each morning, roll over and check your swollen bank account before relaxing all day.

Most of the time it's about holding on for your life. 

Walking the knife's edge between staying in the game and growing, and being kicked out of the game for one wrong decision or event.

I think it drives most of my Imposter Syndrome actually. 

Posting about the wins when you feel like you’re losing. 

Maybe that’s what stops you too?

Anyway, the good news is that I learned some good lessons from it.

Here's a couple for you:

Comparison is the root of unhappiness.

As social creatures, we watch other people. 

Particularly ‘people like us’ who have things that we think we should have too. 

A neighbour in the same suburb who has a better lawn. 

A mum who drops her kids off at your school in a nicer car.

A business owner who is crushing it in an industry you’re not in.

Each time, a seed is planted which grows into the fucking Amazon forest in your mind making it impossible to see through anymore. 

All you see is that sweet sweet lawn, the new car and the dream business. 

NEVER the hard work, sacrifice, or risk it took to achieve it. 

It makes you unhappy when you don’t have it. 

Unhappy when you figure out how much work it is to get it.

Unhappier again when you fail to achieve the same results as them.

And desperately unhappy when you pull the pin and land back where you started.

I’ll admit, I’ve done it!

And it freaken sucks.

But the answer is simple - stop comparing yourself to people and spinning a story about what you SHOULD have by now. 

Play your own game, with your own goals, that fits your own lifestyle. 

And bottom line, learn to appreciate what you DO have, not what you don’t.

(advice I give my 3 year old and started listening to myself)

Next is to remember this:

All or nothing

If you want what someone else has, you need to take it all. 

The good, the bad, the ugly. 

I used to think I wanted Jeff Bezos’s money, the nature of Keanu Reeves, the drive of Elon Musk, the standards of Steve Jobs and the intellect of… well you get it. 

But life’s not like that. 

You can’t have bits of people.

They are who they are because of the whole.

If you want what they have, you must be prepared to do all that they do. 

So I can just have Elon’s drive and brilliance without accepting his flaws. 

And I reeeeeally don’t want them. 

To get the business that someone has, you must be them and do ALL of what they do. 

And sometimes that’s the last thing you want. 

Whether it’s:

• Risking it all
• Being an absolute jerk
• No connection to their family
• Years of hard work and knock downs
• OR growing up in a totally different era!

My point is, it's probably better to walk your own path. 

Being you, with your experiences, your skills, your ambitions, your environment and your opportunities is so freaken unique. 

Especially in this world where authenticity wins.

It's never been easier and harder to stand out.

I used to complain (to myself) that the market size where I live wasn't big enough.

I wanted to play a bigger game which made me try to reach beyond my local market before I'd built anything worthwhile.

After being online for over two years now it's clear to me just how difficult it is to build credibility in the global online space.

You start out thinking EVERYONE will see you and quickly realise that no one is looking at you.

In fact, it turns out it's really damn hard to get their attention.

It's one of the best ego checks I've had in a long time.

And for that reason, I would say every entrepreneur should try to build a personal brand by posting online.

It's insanely hard, but there is also an enormous opportunity for those who commit to the long game and get it right.

My belief? Founder-led organisations will win in the future.

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I reckon we should call it there. 

I hope this helps bring the online space back down a notch but also gives you a nudge to start playing. 

I'd love to see you there. 

Have a great week!